My Fake Smile

To my vlog,
You're the greatest listener in my life. Recently, I've been feeling as if my life is empty. As if it's blank and hopeless. Even though it's like that, I smile everyday hoping that no one would notice what I truly feel. I don't want to be a burden to other people so I just keep it in and wish that it goes away. I know it's wrong but what can I do? I'm still scared to open up and I don't want to bother other people. It feels like all my positive thinking is going to waste. My smiles are only my facade. It is no longer helping me. I don't know if it's because of my depression. I don't want to tell anyone. They won't listen to me. They will listen to reply not to understand.

All I can do is smile all day. Smile as if i'm the happiest person on earth. Smile as if I have no problems in life. Smile even if it hurts. The only thing that's left which is good is my smile because it can make other people happy but not me. My fake smile which I've practiced so much to fool even my family and friends to think that I'm fine. I smile for the happiness of others and tell them that it's for me but the truth is that it's all lies. My cunning smile that can fool the world is my facade to what I really am. I don't want pity, judgment, nor opinions. They all hurt. A smile prevents it.

My smile actually sends out a hidden message and that is for a person to see right through me and tell me, "Don't show me that smile and tell me what you really feel" but I know that it's not going to happen anytime soon because my smile is too much. It is too great of a barrier. Please don't be fooled by my fake smile.

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