18 With A Sad Emoticon

Usually, when girls turn 18, they experience the best party of their lives or travel to where they want to go to the most and even receive plenty of gifts and greetings. They would wear their dream dress and be the center of attention. To sum it all up, they feel a great amount of happiness during this special day and receive one of the best moments of their lives.

For my 18th birthday, I received less than 20 greetings, 2 gifts, and a trip to Korea in exchange of a debut party. I was happy since there are at least 20 people who remembered my birthday and my gifts were more of quality than quantity but I don't think I'm happy with the trip to Korea. We haven't gone yet since we haven't booked yet but just hearing their talks about the trip is making me feel sad. I thought that exchanging a debut party for a trip to Korea would mean that it would still feel like a debut party minus the people, 18 roses, 18 gifts, and gown. Meaning, like a debut, I would still be the center of attention but it feels like I'm just tagging along a trip. I don't feel like it's a gift in exchange of a debut party. I hear talks about what they would wear and what they would do. It makes me think that, "is this trip really for me?". It makes me sad knowing that they haven't even asked me if I wanted to go somewhere there or if I already have a coat to where.

Maybe I'm sef-centered. I don't know but one thing I do know is that my expectation of a "Just turned 18 trip to Korea" did not come as I imagined it to be. And it makes me regret my decision for choosing it over the debut party. It was my choice so it was my fault to begin with.

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