Daily Eli

Choosing your own group in class Back when I was in Grade 10 *Flashback* "Okay, class choose your own group.", said Sir H. Everyone groups themselves by friends. I have no friends. "Okay, class who doesn't have a group?", asked Sir H. Only I raised my hand. I was expecting my teacher to get me out from the feeling of self-pity but... "Awww, You don't have a group? Pity you", said Sir H mockingly. I was hurt of course, even if it was a joke it actually hurts. He then asked, "Who wants to adopt ______?" No one raised their hand. "Awww, No one wants to group with you how pitiful hahaha", said Sir H. I felt 42 eyes on me, some of them pitying me, some laughing at me. I felt self-pity. I felt so useless and so alone. *Present* A past memory that acts as a trigger to my depression. Everytime a teacher tells the class to choose their own groups it feels like the same situation will happen again. It rem

Have you ever felt so overwhelmed with your thoughts that you feel so tired and worn out? There are times when I can't control my head and my mind goes to all different directions thinking of new ideas of what if the world started like this or the world had something like that and a lot more ideas whether it be new inventions or who lives in space. It feels like I travel a lot even if I'm just laying on my bed. It feels like my mind is as big as the universe. And like the universe, I have my blackholes which are referring to my triggering memory. Things that I should not get near because I will not comeback if I come close. Why was I given so many ideas that I keep blaming my hand for not being fast enough to write it all. It's like an idea flew over my head for a second then goes away instantly. Would you consider this a blessing or a curse? I certainly don't know if you ask me. All I know is that my head hurts when there's too much going on in my head. Sometimes